Yes, I now decided to share all my pathetic online flirt one-liners. Why, you don’t want to know and solitude is boring. Why, for your entertainment. Why, because it’s the way things are. Well, some may actually work, but not with my karma.
So here are the lines - if you’re still reading, note that they always comment on a photo of a beautiful woman...only about 5% return flirt rate, and even that fcking number is exaggerated. So I am no stranger to humiliation!
your eyes are like distant but promising hills, the promise is: soon I’ll climb up the hill and am able to place my eyes opposite yours :-)
can I adjust your beautiful white hair band, it looks so pure n white on your head, you can adjust my hair band then, and we do it together until we eventually fall for each others - if not hearts - at least hair :-)
are u waiting 4 a date in that photo; you look so elegant & excited, is the date me? am I late? where’s the venue? I don’t want to miss you!
hey, don’t hug that tree with such a passion and joy, you make me jealous! where can we hug? let me know a place in shanghai, and u will not miss that tree anymore!
if u don’t give me a such look like in the photo in real life soon - I’ll cut my wrists open! Sorry, that came out with little bit too passionately.
I’m also 1974, but a man, your search is over!
fantastic sammi, lets get together - I promise it’ll be more fantastic than you can ever imagine, I am everything but the typical man!
I want you home, to look at your wonderful smiling eyes, red lips and white teeth - for the rest of my life, shall we say it is a deal then :-)
u got cream on your nose, let me lick it clean - or u want my cat do it instead - actually we both love cream so we can share the job, but can u feed?
I always have had a fetish for women few years older than myself, shall we make it reality, you n me, soon!!
I’m 1 in 6 billions n traveled halfway the world to meet my better half, so I’d like you to reveal yourself, so I can see who I came for?
tell me what is behind those sweet lips n dark eyes?
that ocean (I love oceans) and you are too much for me, I’m glad I’m not there!
which one of you will be my date tonight? or this weekend?! I love you both, the way you look that is - and perhaps your heart too one day!
young ladies have hots for elder men, or don’t they, I certainly got the hots for you!
Our ages are match, and I bet a lot of else will match too, at least I’m taken by your lovely smile....
Is your father a captain of a big boat? Can I be your captain?
you’re 3 cm taller than myself, if that is not an obstacle, tell me your story
mystery girl, could you intrigue me, tell me about yourself?
I’d very much like to hold that umbrella to help you shield you from the water that rains down on you from your broken roof :-)
I got all colors and can color it well, carefully, gently, around the edges, not letting any black spots nowhere, I color your life so much that you forget about monochrome tones altogether, when shall we start?! My color palette will dry out soon, so if you want me to color your life, please let me know now Dear!
you seem to have some fun, must have been a good photographer making such a joke to bring out your beautiful natural laughter, Let’s laugh 2gether
Anna, your photos look soo beautiful, if your heart is of the same beauty, I want to win your love - I’m for real, tis’ no joke!
could u be the one for me? I’d certainly welcome you in my heart arms wide open
Melancholic, but happy in company that I yearn, a bit mad, witty, love animals and still a teenager, its like we’re made for each others? yes?
Let us love each others like a good Christian and a good Muslim we are :-)
Big Cat, be mine, and you’ll never regret it, I’d never loose you nor hurt you......kiss kiss
you really look nice, if your heart is as nice as your looks, I’m a sold man!
how about me, would I do?
Look, I searched through at least 100 profiles until I found yours, so I spent a lot of time to find you, so for that, I hope you will respond to me :-)
Don’t try these at home, your life will be ruined, and you find yourself in absurd situations in real life, and your dreams become boring. Too much internet is no good, get your date to go live in real life within 7 days, otherwise you’re in fantasy land!
Dont you think that whenever a guy says he cant handle a relationship for whatever reason it's just an excuse for "I dont really want a relationship with you." I mean, whenever I have said that, it's what I meant.
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